UNCORK YOUR OESOPHAGUS (U.Y.O.)

For those who are in the know, you know can’t say no when LIRS and CITN come calling for no less an occasion than the Annual Tax Conference. So the tax club selected a sort of League of Extraordinary Gentlemenfor this august mission, the list included the likes of Lanre Olumide (Tax Club President), Senator Gamaliel Olayiwola Fasuyi Holmes (Lss press and Tax Asg), ‘Pastor’ Eniola Ololade (for celestial reinforcements) ,the beautiful Omesham Mogbolu (well, to famz) 😀 ,the handsome duo of Mayowa Olagbaiye & Daniel Jayeoba (Omesham’s tutors), Tobi Oyedeji (the astute secretariat), Taiwo ‘Topa’ Akinsulie the welfare secretary (to ensure we fare well), Mr. Yinka Ogunleye to rep the members of tax club and finally Jones Ayuwo.
We departed Lagos airport with a flourish and arrived at Uyo ‘Air Pot’ with an air of disappointment at the infrastructural Jaja complex they called an international airport. But then we arrived at Le Meridien Ibom Hotel & Golf Resorts and our minds were blown away! The scenery, the art, the grandeur, the splendor, the absolutly splendid pristine beauty! The floors were rugged in a myriad of about fifty shades of brown, the scent of rich wood pervaded our senses as everything that could be wood, was wood.
The supple white sheets welcomed our weary bodies into her succulent bosom and the sofa was just quilt, you fall into it and it just dissipates and leaves you floating in a lake of serene bliss. The patio opened up into the most splendid assortment of flowers and lush green grass in perpetual romance with the light kisses from the uyo sunlight…And the pool, oh the pool, shimmering blue in the golden sunlight, seductively enticing, alluringly beckoning on all who hold the cold nothingness of drifting in sweet water dear.
Yes, I know we went there under the guise of attending a conference, but apart from a few devout excos who engrossed themselves in a voyage of academic erudition and espionage on the synergies in tax policies and means of confronting systemic challenges and virtuosic appraisal of tax administration, the rest of us were chilling in our celestial rooms with free wi-fi or cycling down fantastical ranges of beautiful man made nature that would rival the hanging gardens of Babylon for beauty, or soaking ourselves in steamy baths awaiting the triumphant entry… of the next meal!
I do not know if we preferred breakfast or lunch or dinner. I just know that with every meal, they simply and quite exquisitely burst our heads! The bounteous ‘ubiquitousness’ of the cuisine was of such a nature that even the most cynically voracious and inanely insatiable ravenous gluttons amongst us (my humble self and Tobi) could not help but turn a new leaf and leave over leftovers (never thought I’d see the day). It was an unthinkable taboo to get hungry. I cannot begin to describe the sheer delight and devious anticipation that glowed in our eyes as we approached the next table of buffet while our hands struggled to contain our conquests from the previous ones. The first rule of buffet, I was told, is that you can’t take anything out, but there is no limit to how many times you can go… and there was no limit to how many times we could go!
Omesham, our director of programmes was selected by the two-footed that strut the corridors of power, the falcons that comb the twining zenith of authority to run for Miss Tax 2014, and although she was slied and given fifth position while the incorrigibly, incurably dim witted and helplessly plain looking bunch of indigenous gals that contested were arrayed as first to fourth, she was recognized and awarded the most photogenic. The mass exodus of the numbers present that followed was the genesis of the revelation to the judges that their ecclesiastical error had been chronicled by all and sundry!
Though we do not like to loud it too much, we like to keep it under wraps, we like to be low key but it’s quite difficult when the key hole of our feats are so high pitched and the wrapping sheet of humility is not nearly enough to conceal the package that is simply and purely… TAX CLUB!!!.

    P.S.- Associate Professor Abiola Sanni is just a BOSS!!!

      #ANTICIPATE … ANTICIPATE!!!!

    TAX TRIPPLE THREAT!
    4:06:14,
    12:45pm
    1)Tax Tycoon -who wins the 100k scholarship?
    2)Tax Club IDs!
    3)Tax Text books of 10k going free!

      1 day,1 meeting ,only 1 club!!

President Lanre with Mr Babatunde Fowler (LIRS)

President Lanre with Mr Babatunde Fowler (LIRS)

Big ups to Ass.Prof Abiola Sanni who ensured a fun-filled conference

Big ups to Ass.Prof Abiola Sanni who ensured a fun-filled conference

#ANTICIPATE #ANTICIPATE

#ANTICIPATE #ANTICIPATE

1 Comment

  1. Almost thought you were exaggerating – until I saw the pics. It must have been a wonderful event… Can’t enjoy the event, but I can feel it through the writing – so lyrically powerful one feels the nearness of the things you were describing. But then it would not be Jones if it were otherwise….

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